2 months to go and I still don't have a hen do planned!

"Nearly 2 months to go and I still don't have a hen do planned. My MOH seemed excited but hasn't sorted anything. I'm also worried about the dynamics of the day... I don't have a huge friendship group and worry about step family dynamics making things awkward. Help!"

Oh babe. I can feel the overwhelm through the question and I just want you to take a big breath and step back, because I promise you, this is so much more manageable than it feels right now.

Firstly, the Maid of Honour situation. You assumed it was being handled because that's what Maid of Honours do so feel let down nothing appears to be sorted. Honestly, that is a completely reasonable thing to have assumed. You are not silly for not chasing it, you already have enough to keep on top of.

But here's the thing. She probably really wants to do this for you, but needs a clear green light and a little direction before she can get going. So rather than you stewing over it on your own and feeling anxious about the hen, I would check in and ask her how the planning is going. Tell her you'd love her to take the lead, give her the vibe, the rough budget, who you'd want there, and then let her run with it. Most of the time, that one conversation is all it takes.

Now… the group dynamics worry. You do not need to engineer the perfect group chemistry. You just need to gather the people who love you in one place. That's it. A smaller, mixed group is often where the best hen do’s happen. Intimate, relaxed, everyone a little outside their usual circle have come together to celebrate you. People don't arrive at a hen do expecting everyone to already be best friends. They arrive for the bride. And when the bride is happy and relaxed, the room follows.

 The step family concern. It seems like you're putting everyone else's concerns before your own. The people in your life can show up graciously for one evening. That is genuinely all that's being asked of them. If there's any specific tension worth managing, a quiet word with the relevant people beforehand will do far more than overthinking the seating plan ever could.

Two months is genuinely fine. Whatever it looks like, however many people are in the room, it's going to be a celebration of you. And that's always worth showing up for.

Love, Lucy xxx